jed (xonexhopex) wrote,
jed
xonexhopex

man this guy sure knows how to document heartbreak..

Three sleepless nights,
this isn't how its supposed to be.
But you are so good at
taking your time to get back to me.

I will wait for you forever,
if you would just ask me.
I thought that I could change you
but you changed me.

But it doesn't feel right,
holding someone else's hand.
Together on phone line,
and living at two opposite ends.

It scares me to think,
that you could find takers other than me
and better than me.

But you're head is elsewhere,
and I’m talking enough for both of us.
When will you see it's not (it’s not) so easy for me
you’re careless, and whispered, insulting, and bruising.

And I thought that you said
things were improving.
These laces are untied,
but my feet are still walking away.

(I fall from you eyes, your eyes I trusted, you said forever)
I never thought that you could say these words.
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
(Don't say...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
(Don't say that we can...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
(Don't say that we can still be...)
Is this really happening?
I never thought that you could say these words.
Is this really happening?
(Don't say that we can still be friends)

Erase my name from this page.

How can you take all these days
(What is inside of me what have I done?)
and throw them away
(Is this the only way that you will notice me?)
as I sit here waiting for you (for you)
(Dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)

I stay up nights
(If you are still pretending this is what's right)
until stars leave the sky
(Why cant you look at me can you only see?)
knowing what my dreams can take away
(Sides, your side, can take away)
Walk away from me.
This night is done

sigh..now i need to write my own, but for some reason, writing and even drawing/painting my feelings never quite eases the pain...just gives me inspiration i guess. what does ease pain? anything? drugs can mask it, sure, as can friends, situations, worldly possessions, and the like...but can anything truly take it away? i don't think it can. you just have to feel it, process it, and learn from it...maybe. or that's just life..love, pain, rinse, repeat..until one day this world will be gone and the perfect world will take its place. without the hope of a better future...how can anyone go on in this imperfect world we reside in? i havent felt pain like this in a long time...i've avoided it at all costs. and there is still more pain to be had.."it pains me to think, that you could find takers..better than me.." i imagine thats the worst pain for both of us.
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